Bluebird by Mimi Rhine

“Your eyes light up when you laugh, but you do it far too rarely. ”
“I don’t know how anymore…”
“Do you want to learn again? With me?”

Philipp
All I ever wanted was to be loved. What I got was humiliation and pain; and six months after the break-up, I don’t know how to recover from that. Even now, my ex’s voice is so loud in my head, making me doubt my every move. But one day, there he is. Adrien. Calm and reserved, attentive and interested. He’s everything my ex wasn’t, everything I always wanted. Am I worthy of being loved after all? But how can I trust him with my body, let alone my heart?

Adrien
Falling in love was never the plan. Not until after graduation, at least. Not after the… incident at my old university. But, here I am longing for Philipp, who stole my heart the moment I laid eyes on him. He wants me too, I know it, but he can’t let me in. Something happened to him, something bad, and I’m not sure I’ll ever break through his walls. For him, though, I can be patient—I have a feeling a life with him will be worth any price.

Philipp is broken. Beyond repair, if you asked him. Manipulated by his ex to believe he is worthless, he knows no one will ever love him, let alone touch him again.
But then, one day after a show, there’s Adrien. He’s nice, insanely hot, and he seems to like Philipp. But that can’t be true, right? And if it is true, what does that mean? What would he have to do? What rules would Adrien have for him?
Lost in his trauma with no way out, Philipp finds Adrien’s hand in his darkness. But is he brave enough to take it? Can he trust Adrien to guide him back into the light? Back to the two things Philipps desperately wants but thought he could never have — trust and intimacy?

Bluebird is a low and slow steam love story starring two young men trying to find their way back to love, trust and physical intimacy after trauma and hurt. This book deals with difficult topics, please check the trigger warnings to make sure this story is for you:
Toxic relationship
Verbal, mental and sexual abuse in a relationship (in the past, but explicit representation)
Self-harm (on page)