The Unhinged Christmas of a Cat Lady by Dani Elias

Not every Christmas is merry. But it might still be miraculous.
Miranda didn’t expect to spend her forties broke, single, and starting over in a tiny granny flat with her eight-year-old son, two escape-artist kittens, and a marriage in shambles thanks to a highly educational scene involving a tartan skirt and someone calling her husband “Daddy.”
Merry bloody Christmas.
Still, Little Hadlow offers something London can’t: a chance to start over, a community full of mildly nosy charm, and the kind of fiercely loyal friends who show up with wine and snacks before you even ask. With a job hunt underway and her dignity mostly intact (porn incident aside), Miranda’s determined to rebuild—especially now her ex is having second thoughts and her irritatingly attractive new landlord, Jasper, has made her an offer she absolutely can’t refuse. Purely platonic, of course. Entirely for her relaxation. Allegedly.
Caught between the man who broke her heart and the one quietly sneaking into it, Miranda must navigate the festive season with her wits, her waterproof mascara, and a firm grip on the kitten carrier.
Table of Contents
Content Warning
Dedication
Baby, It’s Cold Inside
1. Silent Night, Mediator Fright
2. Rockin' Around the Bonfire
3. Guy Fox Is Coming to Town
4. Merry Ex-Mas, You Filthy Animal
5. Have Yourself a Merry Little Flat Let
6. The Twelve Days of Jet Lag
7. Do You Hear What I Hear? (It's a Landlord)
8. Away in a Basket
9. Fairytale of New Vibrator
10. Walking in a Kitten Wonderland
11. Deck the Halls (with Fairy Lights)
12. I’ll Be Home for Gay Porn
13. O Holy Shite
14. O Come, All Ye Best Friends
15. We Three Brothers of Whisky and Regret
16. All I Want for Christmas Is an Orgasm
17. Hark! The Herald Angels Blush
18. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Co-parenting
19. The First Moan-el
20. Sleigh My Name
21. I Wish It Could Be Chaos Every Day
22. I’ll Be in Cornwall for Christmas… Maybe
23. Frosty the Standoff
24. Snuggle Bells
25. We Three Queens of Bluewater Are
26. Merry Feelings, Everyone
27. Rudolph the Red-flagged Ex
28. Driving Home for Another Try
29. Good King Wenceslas Ordered Chips (and Whisky)
30. Feline Navidad
31. Tidings of Unicorns
32. Lonely Christmas
33. This Christmas I Give You My Heart
Auld Lang Sigh
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