Perfect Love by Amanda Cowen

Table of Content

• 1. Also by Amanda Cowen Between Friends Perfect Sense (Perfect Series #1) Perfect Love is a sequel to Perfect Sense. It is recommended, as it is a continuation, to read Perfect Sense before reading Perfect Love.
• 2. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This book wouldn’t have been possible without the fantastic Karen Dale Harris. Thank you a million times over for your amazing attention to detail, exceptional input and brilliant editorial skills. Thank you to Sarah Hansen for another sexy cover. A special thank you to my wonderful friend and personal cheerleader, Angela P. She was the first reader of Cash and Quinn’s story and she kept me going even when I wanted to light my manuscript into flames. Thank you for your ongoing support, and for continuing to read everything I write. Thank you to all my readers and their continued patience for the second installment of Cash and Quinn’s story! Your support means the world to me! Finally, and above all, I must gratefully acknowledge my husband, Sean. Thank you for your inspiration for Cash and Quinn’s story. Thank you for answering every hockey question and teaching me about the ins and outs of the professional hockey world. Without your expertise and continual love and su
• 3. Table of Contents Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Epilogue
• 4. Prologue Cash Four and a half years ago… "You're welcome, little bro." I smile, dropping the keys into the palm of his hand. "Cash, what the hell is going on?" Cory asks, raising a skeptical brow. "This better not be what I think it is." I laugh. If I’d warned my brother beforehand that I was buying him a brand new pick-up truck he never would have accepted it. That's why I have to surprise him. From the time we were kids, I promised him that once I signed my first professional hockey contract, I would buy him his dream truck. And it’s already been six months since I signed my three-year, fifteen million-dollar deal with the Santa Anna Tornadoes. "I don't make promises I can't keep, Cory. You know that." I pat him on the back. Living in California and playing for the Tornadoes keeps me busy. I have limited time to visit my family and friends in Thompson, Newfoundland. It’s almost a miracle the team has a full weekend off. Finally, my chance to come home to Canada and honor my promise.
• 5. Prologue
• 6. Chapter 1 Quinn Three thousand one hundred and ten miles isn’t far enough. If Harvard were on the moon, I would much prefer it. I spend the entire plane ride silently sobbing and staring out the window, wishing the last six months in Bexley were a terrible, horrible dream. But they weren’t. As I grab my luggage off the carousel and hail a taxi, the reality of what transpired in the past twenty-four hours hits me harder than Cash’s slap shot. I was the other woman. He played me. My stomach twists with a strange combination of regret and agony. I close my eyes, forcing away the image of him with her. “Where to, miss?” the cab drivers asks. I clear my throat, attempting to erase the trembling ache in my voice. I give him the name of a hotel near Copley Square. He nods and pulls into a stream of cars. I can see the pity on his face as he glances back at me through the rear-view mirror. Not surprising. My eyes are puffy, my cheeks are flushed, and I’m wearing a permanent frown. This is my l
• 7. Chapter 1
• 8. Chapter 2 Quinn The light changes, and I dash across the street along with a small crowd. The buildings directly in front of me aren’t an illusion I’ve been imagining for the past month. Harvard is an architectural masterpiece, and the Business School campus is breathtaking. As I approach Batten Hall, the glare from the early morning sun bounces off the windows. I catch a glimpse of myself in their reflection and smile at my casual attire—black leggings, a cream cable knit sweater, and a patterned infinity scarf around my neck. I didn’t have time to style my hair, because I was already really late for class. I pulled it into a messy bun, and I didn’t splash an ounce of makeup on. My stomach grumbles as I pull open the door. I also didn’t have time to eat breakfast. Normally, my roommate (a.k.a. Aiden) wakes me unintentionally when he sneaks out of our apartment to hit the gym. But this morning I slept through his early exit, and I forgot to set my alarm. When I step into the foyer of t
• 9. Chapter 2
• 10. Chapter 3
• 11. Chapter 4 Quinn “Come to the bonfire with us tonight.” Nadia, a fellow classmate, walks across the campus lawn with me. We’ve finished a tough group project together, and one of our classmates is hosting a party at his place to celebrate. When I hesitate, she adds, “Don’t even think of saying no. I’ll bet you haven’t been out once since orientation.” Nadia’s the first female friend I made at Harvard. We met the weekend before classes started during an orientation event. She was standing next to me at a cocktail party and talked my ear off about her impressions of…well, everything. I immediately loved her outgoing and bubbly personality because she reminded me of Lyndsey. We hit it off right away. She is one of those girls who speaks her mind and doesn’t care what anyone thinks. She’s opinionated, ballsy, and wicked smart. Aiden, who is walking on my other side, looks over at me. “What time does it start?” I ask. She takes this as a yes “Great! It’s in a few hours. How about I come to y
• 12. Chapter 4
• 13. Chapter 5 Cash My head’s fucking pounding. Each hammering beat is a reminder of my shitty existence. I groan into the darkness of my empty room and roll onto my backside when a vision of Quinn and her sexy as sin body weaves its way into my mind. Fuck if I know why the very thought of her makes me want to smash something into a million and one pieces. I destroyed us. I finally regained the capacity to love and let her in, only to have it crushed the second Daniela stepped off of the plane and back into my life. How could I fuck everything up so horribly? I stretch out my arm and fish for the bottle of Tylenol on my nightstand. Fumbling around my hand knocks it over the bottle crashes down onto the floor. Well, fuck that. I can barely move. My head continues to pound, but my brain won’t shut off. Quinn was my first real sense of hope. A reason for me to break free from the fucked-up web of dysfunction I’ve created with the red-headed she-devil I once considered family. As the copious am
• 14. Chapter 5
• 15. Chapter 6 Quinn On Saturday morning Nadia and I attend our usual advanced yoga class. It’s the one place I’m able to find peace with my thoughts, even if it’s only for sixty minutes once a week. The truth is, my thoughts of Cash haven’t diminished over time. I keep waiting for my heart to feel settled or fulfilled with my new routines. But it’s not happening. I’m in a constant state of longing for him. I look up from the downward dog position to find the entire class already twisted up into a crane pose. As if hearing my sudden lack of focus, our instructor calls out to me, reminding me to keep up, and find my inner peace. I force myself into this new and complicated pose as Nadia glances in my direction with a smirk, wearing the world’s tightest sports bra and matching yoga pants. She’s been trying to seduce a guy in our class by dressing half-naked, styling her hair, and contouring her makeup like she walked off of a runway at nine in the morning. “Ooh, Hot Yoga Guy is looking over h
• 16. Chapter 6
• 17. Chapter 7 Quinn “I’m so happy you decided to come home to California for the holidays,” Lyndsey calls from the kitchen. “This place doesn’t feel like home.” I drop my luggage in the foyer of the sprawling two-story mansion that our father bought when he took over hockey operations for the Santa Anna Tornadoes. I step down into the living room and take in the impressive view from the floor-to-ceiling windows and French doors opening up onto a huge wrap-around deck overlooking the Pacific coast. Lyndsey walks out from the kitchen area, wearing a deep-blue sundress that flows down to just above her knees. She looks, as usual, over-done and completely stunning, as she carries a tray with a pitcher of lemonade and two glasses on it. “In his defense, he could have easily bought a bachelor pad closer to Santa Anna, but he didn’t,” Lyndsey says. “He decided to buy a beautiful home on the beach because he wants this to feel like it’s our home too. He’s excited to spend Christmas together this y
• 18. Chapter 7
• 19. Chapter 8 Cash “Brooks! Brooks! Brooks!” the crowd’s chants. Hymns of praise echo up into the rafters as I fly from one blue line to the other. The puck dances against my stick as I weave my way past the opposing team’s defensive line. I break free and come face to face with the goalie. The crowd ripples into a heated frenzy of cheers and screams as I crack a shot on net. It slices past the goalie’s helmet and pings on the top post, tipping into the mesh. The sirens go off. The cheers of the crowd vibrate in the ice beneath my skates and music booms through the Jumbotron. I shoot my fist in the air and slam into the boards. My teammates skate into me, patting my helmet and back. I’ve tied up the game against the Ohio Bulldogs, the team hockey critics said we’d never beat. The crowd goes crazy again, their cheers rising and getting louder as the replay of my goal is shown on the Jumbotron. I glance up at it, my brow furrowing. It was a wicked play and I buried the puck hard into the net
• 20. Chapter 8
• 21. Chapter 9 Quinn It’s been six months, exactly one hundred and eighty-two days, since the last time I saw him. Four thousand three hundred and eight hours since he broke my heart. And attending a Tornadoes game with Aiden was not the way I thought I would see Cash again or how I thought I would start my Spring Break. I tried to get out of it, I did, but Aiden was so persistent that I come to the Tornadoes game with him. He said he didn’t feel right accepting Tornadoes tickets from my father and taking someone else to the game. Even though I practically begged him to find any other person in the world to go with him except me, he wouldn’t take no for an answer. And now here I am, feeling unsteady on my feet, struggling to figure out how to appear together and look like I’m totally okay and cool with being here. My heart is beating so hard I’m sure Aiden can hear it. Coming to a Tornadoes game was a bad idea. When I step through the automatic doors and into the arena, all the familiar sen
• 22. Chapter 9
• 23. Chapter 10 Cash A flash of light beams into my eyes. Loud voices call my out name. My body is cold, weak, and sore. I can’t open my eyes. I’m fighting in and out of consciousness. “Brooks, can you hear me?” A familiar voice echoes stridently into my ears. Lights find my eyes again. My brain is trying to wake me up and break me out of this darkness, but I can’t snap out of it. I hear footsteps patter up to my side. Pain swells in my chest, and panic beats in every sharp and staggered breath. My mind flashes to the memory of blue and red lights blinding me in the reflection of a shattered windshield. My head pounds with the memory of sirens wailing in my ears, my heart seizes with anxiety. Cory. His name races over and over in my mind. I frantically push through the painful memories poisoning my mind, letting adrenaline rush through my veins and take over each jagged movement. “Brooks, come on. Wake up.” I groan out in pain, agony throbbing all over my limbs and head. The memory of swing
• 24. Chapter 10
• 25. Chapter 11 Quinn Seven and a half hours on a plane and one awkward limo ride later, I’m standing in Cash’s new home in Santa Anna. Cash drops the keys on the little table by the door, and I look around. His apartment has two bedrooms off a large main loft area with a beautiful view over a couple of city blocks and out across the ocean. It’s messier than I expect, with clothes tossed over the back of a sofa, dirty dishes in the sink, and a fine layer of dust on the coffee table. I don’t understand…Cash was always so neat and tidy. He follows the path of my eyes and then back at me, blushing knowingly. “Sorry about the mess,” he grumbles and I weave a little on my feet. He studies me, pushing his hat off his head and mussing his hair with one hand. “I wasn’t exactly expecting company.” “I’m not judging,” I assure him, taking a careful step into his apartment. I slide off my jacket and see his new life without me for the first time. It’s weird to be here alone with him and see how differe
• 26. Chapter 11
• 27. Chapter 12 Cash Quinn’s feet shuffle out of my bedroom exactly thirty-six minutes after I wake. I’m already sitting at the kitchen island, two cups of steaming coffee in hand. I thought once I poured my heart out to her and told her the truth about my relationship with Daniela I would be able to get some sleep. What I didn’t take into consideration was the effect Quinn’s warm inviting body had on me, or my nagging mind swirling that even though I knew where I stood on ending things with Daniela, the reality of Daniela letting me go without a fight was an entirely different dilemma. Quinn walks through the living room and toward me, dressed in light-blue jeans and a faded gray tank top. The same labradorite pendant she wore at my bedside in the Dark Room is around her neck. She lets out a tiny yawn and smiles over at me, before sitting down on the stool next to me. “Hey,” she breathes. “Good morning.” I drink in the sight of her bare shoulders. “Coffee?” Dark curls frame her face, and s
• 28. Chapter 12
• 29. Chapter 13 Quinn I’m in a bad way, hard up, feeling things I shouldn’t, and I’m not even bothering with denial anymore. Being near Cash, especially after he opened his heart to me, obliterates any other wariness I had of his past, and being trapped with him in his condo makes me want to fall back into his warm familiar embrace. I can smell his sweet familiar scent—honey and cinnamon and the peppermint toothpaste on his breath. I can feel his eyes on me as I tidy his condo and make us lunch. After he takes some Tylenol and lies down on his bed because he’s feeling weak and dizzy, I lie on his couch, thinking about our past, present mess, and maybe future. I think of how much he hurt me, but how much I’ve missed him too, and wonder if I could ever give him a second chance. I think about him pouring his heart out to me last night and then the two of us falling asleep together on his bed. After all, without Cash my sleep has been restless. God, I’ve missed the way he spoons me. While he na
• 30. Chapter 13
• 31. Chapter 14 Cash Any doubts I have about Quinn not wanting to be here, that maybe she’s just going through the motions to please me, are put to rest by the next morning. We made love a second, third, and fourth time last night before she collapsed on me grinning, then curled up at my side and fell asleep in my arms. I look down at her now in the late-morning sun, all sleep-warm and cheek pressed into the pillow, her curly hair a tangled mess around her head. My eyes move over her body, along the side of her bare breast and down the curve of her spine, to where the sheet rests just at her hips. She’s my everything, with only the soft, measured sound of her breathing right next to me. I imagine if I wasn’t such a fuck up, this would be my morning every morning, and I’d be the luckiest man in the world. Except the problem is, I am a fuck-up. And without her I’m a wreck. I’ve been watching her sleep peacefully for the past thirty minutes, etching every sacred inch of her into my memory, bec
• 32. Chapter 14
• 33. Chapter 15 Quinn The house is dark and silent when I unlock the door and step inside. Why would Cash turn out all the lights? I place the bag of muffins and coffee down on the entryway table and flick on a light. Where is he? Maybe he’s not feeling well? Great. Now I feel bad because I took my sweet-ass time. I even stopped to do a little shopping a local thrift store before I went to the coffee shop. I didn’t want to rush back right away, knowing he needed his rest. It’s been a few hours since I left…could he still be sleeping? I walk through the living room and call out his name. No response. I jerk open his bedroom door, and panic when I see his bed is empty. What the hell? I scan the room and catch a glimpse of his cell phone on the night table. I let out a sigh of relief. He wouldn’t leave without his phone. So where is he? “Quinn?” His voice breaks the silence and the pounding in my head. I spin around to see him standing in the doorway. His hair is a tangled mess and his tired f
• 34. Chapter 15
• 35. Chapter 16 Quinn My heart is beating so hard I can hear it. I hail down a cab, and thirty minutes later I’m standing in front of my father’s door, pounding my fist against it. He pulls it open with a frown. He doesn’t bother to ask what I’m doing here. He already knows. He glares at me with disapproval through his reading glasses. I push past him into the foyer through to the large main living room. He’s mad at me anyway. He follows me over to the bay window that overlooks a large wraparound deck and ocean. “How could you?” I spin around, cutting right to the chase. “Did you and Aiden think I wouldn’t find out? I can’t believe you went behind my back and confronted Cash. Admit you are the one who bought me this plane ticket.” I wave the ticket in front of his face. When he remains silent, I shout, “Admit it.” He studies me with a look of frustration. “I’m your father. My job is to protect you. I simply led the horse to the water. I didn’t make him drink it.” The bitterness from knowing
• 36. Chapter 16
• 37. Chapter 17 Cash Friday afternoon I’m in a crap mood. The team physician told me my skates wouldn’t touch ice for at least another month. My head is pounding, my lips haven’t touched a drink, and Quinn’s been in the shower for the past twenty minutes without me. I roll onto my side, pull a pillow over my head, and groan into the mattress. This concussion is butchering me. I can’t even get out of bed to properly fuck my wet and slippery girlfriend. The shower pipes screech to a halt, exciting the ever-loving shit out of me as the bathroom door flies open. Her smooth, bare, and wet body strolls into the room. Quinn leans forward, grinning. “Let me under those sheets already. I’m cold.” It takes several seconds for my brain to connect to my mouth and my body. She looks phenomenal. I love her au-natural and without an ounce of makeup. “Shit. Yeah. Get that naked body in here.” Shuffling over to the other side of the bed, I pull back the sheets and look over at her. “You look a little grumpy
• 38. Chapter 17
• 39. Chapter 18 Quinn Cash takes a nap while I clean his condo. With spring break coming to an end and me having to leave for Boston tomorrow morning, I want to make sure his place is spotless and his cupboards are full. With one final swipe along the countertop, I try to download every memory of this week. I try to enjoy the last few hours of ocean breeze and Cash’s soft snores carrying across the condo as he sleeps. I think about how far we’ve come and how fate brought us back together. When I pull open a cupboard, at least five empty whiskey bottles tumble out around my feet and onto the floor. What the…? My heart feels like a wild drum beneath my ribs. He’s been drinking. He’s been drinking excessively and hiding it from me. Sure, I’ve smelled whiskey on his breath on two separate occasions, but I thought those were isolated incidents. I didn’t realize it was this bad. The thought of him turning to alcohol again is painful—no, unbearable—when he could be turning to me. It makes me choke
• 40. Chapter 18
• 41. Chapter 19 Cash Cash Brooks Is Not the Only One Suffering When Cash Brooks suffered a blow in Boston that took him out of the game, his absence was met with frustration and disappointment. With a severe concussion as his diagnosis, fans are wondering if Brooks is now damaged goods. Already dropped down to the AHL last season for continual misconduct and suspected substance abuse, Brooks was given a second shot in the pros only seven months ago. It’s rumored the NHL’s patience with Brooks is wearing thin, and when a team is frustrated with a player, other teams in the league know about it. And since Brooks has been off, he’s been rumored to have been using substances again. Santa Anna Tornadoes General Manager claims Brooks inability to change shows a lack of character and judgement, and he has made his disappointment in Brooks clear. However, news broke Monday night that Brooks has entered Stage Two of the NHL-NHLPA joint Substance Abuse and Behavioral Health Program. This isn’t the fi
• 42. Chapter 19
• 43. Chapter 20 Quinn I wake up the next morning to the feel of unfamiliar sheets and the smell of Cash clinging to my skin. The bed is a disaster. The sheets are pulled from the mattress and twisted around my body; the pillows are on the floor. I’m pleasantly sore, relishing the familiar ache between my legs, and I have no idea where my clothes are. By the time our plane touched down in Newfoundland, we were already an embarrassing display of public affection. We couldn’t keep our hands or mouths off each other. And by the time Cash’s limo driver dropped us off at his home in Thompson, I was practically naked and half-way to an orgasm. We made love all night long. Over and over again. A quick glance at the clock tells me it’s just after nine, and I roll over, push the tangled hair from my face and blink into the dim light. The other side of the bed is empty and bears only the telltale indentation of Cash’s body. I look up at the sound of footsteps to see him walking toward me, smiling and
• 44. Chapter 20
• 45. Chapter 21 Quinn I wake to the feeling of lips pressed carefully to my forehead, and force my eyes open. The sky directly above me isn’t an illusion I’ve been imagining the past month. Our bedroom is on the second floor of our traditional Boston two-story townhouse, and a skylight over the bed lets in the early morning sun. It curls across the footboards, bright but not yet warm. Along the far wall of our bedroom are two French doors that Cash has left open to a small balcony outside. A warm breeze stirs through the room, carrying the sounds of the street below. I turn my head, “Hey.” My voice sounds like sandpaper rubbed across metal. His smile makes my chest do a fluttery, flipping thing. I still can’t believe he’s mine, and that this beautiful townhouse is our home. The past month has been a dream come true. Even though hockey season is over, and the playoffs have come to an end, Cash transitioned amazingly into our new life in Boston and onto his new team, the Boston Hackers. He’s
• 46. Chapter 21
• 47. Chapter 22 Quinn The weekend comes crashing in with a summer storm and a sky full of heavy rain clouds and lighting sheets. I run beneath my umbrella with Bexley leashed at my side to the subway station and barely make my 5:05 train. For once, there is a seat open, and I drop into it. I wrap up my umbrella, put Bexley on my lap, and close my eyes to think about everything I was able to get done today. Thrift store shopping, shipping off a bunch of jewelry orders, lunch with Nadia, and then puppy training school with Bexley. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this productive. By six I’m home, thrilled to peel off my wet clothes, and even more thrilled at the idea of having a hot shower with Cash before dinner. We haven’t had much alone time lately. From Lyndsey and Louis’s week-long visit to the past month being consumed with Cash’s hockey training, my jewelry business, and taking care of Bexley, we haven’t had much time for us. It’s nice to be home after another busy day. “Bexley!” Cash
• 48. Chapter 22
• 49. Chapter 23 Cash “Where is she?” I muscle my way past the doctor before he can even fully open the door. My gaze darts around the waiting room, but Quinn isn’t in here. Aiden shoots to his feet when he sees me. “She’s in the hospital room—” I ignore him and charge forward, only to be intercepted by her classmate Nadia. “Hold on a second,” she orders, planting her palm against my chest. “What the hell happened?” “Move it, Nadia,” I snap. “They’re running a few more tests,” Aiden says grimly. “We’ve been told to wait.” We? I glare at Aiden. Who does this fucker think he is? And what the hell is he doing here anyway? “Like I give a shit,” I say. “I need to see my girlfriend.” “We all want to see her,” Nadia says calmly. “Aiden and I rushed over here as soon as we could after the hospital called and told me Quinn was admitted. Now, please tell me what happened.” “After hockey practice, I received a text from Daniela. She wrote me that she hated me, she was getting deported, and that she was
• 50. Chapter 23
• 51. Chapter 24 Quinn My boots crunch against the soft blanket of snow covering the ground as I walk across the Harvard campus. I just finished an exam, and I’m pretty confident I aced it. I’ve come a long way since what Cash and I now refer to as “the incident”. My head’s healed, my strength is back, and Cash has been my rock through everything. After Daniela’s arrest, I decided not to press charges. Instead, I asked that she be professionally treated for her grief and any other mental health issues she may have developed. She was sent back by U.S. immigration to Thompson, Newfoundland where she spent a few months in the mental health ward and continues to attend therapy. Once she was released, Anna and Jake, Cash’s long-time friends ended up taking her in. Cash still tries to keep in contact with Daniela, calling her every few weeks to make sure she is doing well. Recently she told Cash she started teaching dance classes again. I was happy to hear things were looking up for her. I do wish
• 52. Chapter 24
• 53. Epilogue Quinn Eighteen months later The wedding photographer walks past me, snapping a few photos before bending to ask, “Think I could get some shots of the whole family now?” Cash wraps his arms around my waist and slides them over my belly. He nestles his chin against the top of my head and lets out a contented sigh. The photographer motions us over to join the bride and groom standing on a giant rock overlooking the ocean. White-capped waves crash against it, and the sun beams fiercely around the newlyweds. Cash kisses the top of my head. “We’d better head over.” I slide my hand into his, but complain anyway. “This Caribbean heat makes me feel nauseous. I’m sure Lyndsey won’t mind if her pregnant matron-of-honor sits out of the next few shots.” I shift my eyes to him, hopeful. “Have you met your sister? She’s a fearsome bridezilla. She could cross-check you at a moment’s notice if you even try to make a run for it.” Only Lyndsey would get married on a private Caribbean beach in th
• 54. Epilogue