Hold Me Down by Winnie Brooks

Ashia
We can finally see an end to the madness, but the path is as dark as ever. The love of my life is fighting demons that I can’t see. It’s torturous to watch him fend them off alone. He’s forced to relive every violent act that he’s ever seen, and the guilt has finally eaten away at him. The ghosts haunt him at every turn just so they can crush any progress he makes. Each step he takes just turns into a leap backward, and my anger is at an all-time high. They must pay for what they’ve done to him. We’ve earned the life we built together, and they tried to take that away from us. This has to end. Damien needs time to heal, and I refuse to push him into the darkness any further. Now that I know the ropes and hold the reins, I’ll use them to reach the light. I’ll do whatever it takes to end this once and for all, and just maybe, I can keep us from falling apart.

Damien
The voices are still echoing through my head, and every move I make proves that the pain isn’t gone. I’m not sure it will ever go away. I see them in my nightmares, and even in the shadows when I’m awake. The restraints are gone, but now I’ve only imprisoned myself. I keep fighting. I’m desperate to break through this hell and be the man my wife needs me to be, but I’m afraid that he no longer exists. She swears that the man she loves is still inside me somewhere, and her devotion to me shines through the void. My family is the only thing that keeps me grounded—the only thing that keeps me alive. Even if my mind never recovers, I will ensure that our heart remains untouched. Ashia deserves this happiness. The demons that follow us need to die. I’ll do whatever it takes to put the darkness in our lives to an end, and hopefully, I can keep her together while I’m falling apart.

*This is book 4 in the Descent to Darkness Series and must be read in order. Please check your trigger warnings before reading. Your mental health matters. This book is not suitable for anyone under the age of 18.*