Cruel Water by Dee Palmer

I’m not a sadist by choice,
I’m a sadist by design,
Cursed to inflict pain on others
And yet I find no pleasure in it,
Only a moment of release from my eternal torment.
And yet, it’s not enough
I’m not a sadist,
I’m a monster.

One night changed all that,
One night she dragged me from the oceans dark depths
Cresting the cruel waters she came to my rescue, like an angel.
A mermaid.
And now I’m going crazy and don’t know what to believe.
Was she real?
Did she truly soothe my demons and take away my pain?
How am I even alive?
So many questions taunt me.
So many answer evade my grasp.
What is true? What is real? What to believe?
All I know for sure is I have to find her again,
I have to know,
Can she really save me from myself?